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Writer's pictureCherie Aria

The Two Sides of True Love —Eros and Anteros

Updated: Jan 29, 2023

Greek Gods of Love—What is True Love?

What is true love, Eros, Anteros, Greek Gods of love, Greek mythology, Aphrodite, Ares, Zeus, Themis, passion, requited love, Cupid, Venus, Mars, Jupiter

What is love if it is all passion, no peace, and never reciprocated? In Chinese, we have a saying: to fall in love is easy, but to be together is hard; because in the end, passion diminishes in the mundanity of everyday life.

After I posted the love story of Eros and Psyche, I noticed that many were being led to my blog post after searching "what is true love?" And I guess that is a question that plagues many. Especially since we've covered how even the god of love has suffered for it.

Greek Gods of Love—Who are they?

When speaking of the Greek god of love, we immediately think of Eros, but many forget that it is the Greek godS of love and therefore overlook his very important brother, Anteros. In many illustrations, people pit Anteros against Eros and made him the opposite and opponent of Eros. Though each of the brothers could not be on his own, and in fact complemented and completed each other. Once you read their story you'd also realize, they are more allies than enemies.

In Roman mythology, Eros is known as Cupid, the extremely commercialized image of a naked fat baby with wings that carries around a bow and arrows comes from him. While in Greek mythology, Eros is portrayed as a beautiful young man with angel-like wings. I imagine that Basil's description of Dorian Gray under Oscar Wilde's pen would fit him. What is the same is that Eros is also always equip with a bow and arrows that would make people instantly fall in love.

It is no secret that I greatly prefer Greek mythology to Roman mythology; however, the Roman's portrayal of Cupid is not without its reasons.

Greek Gods of Love—The Story of Eros and Anteros

When Eros was first born, the whole of Olympus loved this bright beautiful baby filled with laughs and kisses. Like all babies, he sometimes threw temper tantrums and was most capricious. But it's okay, he's a baby after all. As time passed, his mother, the beautiful Aphrodite, started to worry. She realized that her son would not grow! His reckless arrow shooting caused much chaos and heartbreak. The father Ares wasn't much help at this point. As the god of war, he was quite proud of Eros. After all, Eros was gorgeous just like his parents, who are the 2 most attractive gods ever; and Ares himself is quite passionate and hotheaded.

Distraught, Aphrodite turned to Themis, the wise Titan of divine justice and order—who also technically is Aphrodite's half sister but also Zeus' aunt and second wife. It's complicated. Let it go, they are gods.

Themis told Aphrodite that perhaps Eros just needed a little brother! When he sees this new baby, he would be forced to grow up and assume the role of a big brother.

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Aphrodite heeded her words and went to Ares for another son. Soon, Anteros was born. And just as Themis had predicted, Eros began to grow. He is no longer the fickle and impulsive child. He started shooting his arrows with precision and reason, helping those who are meant to be together fall in love.

Anteros' personality is wildly different from his big brother. He is more composed and pragmatic. He also has a bow and arrow, and has wings that resembled that of butterflies. Instead of making people fall in love, he punishes those who spite and spurn love.

While Eros is the god of passionate love and sex, Anteros is the god of requited love. Love cannot exist without either. Passion cannot last or grow without love being reciprocated; and even if two people loved each other, it cannot last without affection and sexual attraction. That is the story of the Greek gods of love. I hope that this story brings us all one stop closer to understanding true love, sustainable relationships, and how to find the right partner.

Greek Gods of Love—Further Readings

If you are interested in the topic of love, I strongly recommend Alain de Botton's content. He is a magnificent philosopher with a YouTube channel filled with videos on love and trauma. He is also the write of my favorite book, Essays In Love, which is an easy read with philosophy disguised as a novel and the cycle of relationships.

If you are interested in Greek Mythology, I recommend Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton. It's considered a classic and looks at Greek Mythology from a more anthropologic stand point with extensive research. Also, the author refrained from citing Ovid in her writing because of Ovid's own admission to his disrespect of the Greek Gods and their stories. Which satisfies my disdain for Ovid, the rumor monger.

A more entry level read would be Tale of the Greek Heroes by Roger Lancelyn Green. It's a children's book from Puffin Classics but I definitely consider it suitable for people of all ages that are just beginning to explore the world of Greek mythology.

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